Can We Be Kind All the Time?

I find kindness quotes and inspiration everywhere I look - from the walls of my classroom to the screenshots on my phone. One phrase that’s been on my mind lately is, “Be Kind Always.” While I (truly) wish that I was superhuman and able to only be kind, positive, and happy all the time, I know that this is simply not possible. I often think to myself, “Am I actually a kind person?” The volunteer section of my resume would say yes, while some of my ex-friends from high school would most certainly paint a different picture!

Years ago, I learned about the concept of ‘absolute’ statements that we tend to make about ourselves and our world, like “I am unlovable” or “The world is unfair.” We know that, realistically, these statements are not absolutely true or false; they just generalize our experiences and feelings. 

Let’s take Simone Biles. As the most decorated American gymnast in history, we can agree that she is the best. She is incredibly talented at what she does. So if we say, “Simone Biles is amazing at gymnastics,” does that mean that she is always, absolutely amazing? Has she never made a mistake, never fallen, never failed? Of course not.

It’s the same with us. If you want to call yourself kind, then be as kind as you can be. If you want to be intelligent, creative, or ambitious, then be those things (when you can be). Just because you mess up sometimes does not mean that you are not a kind person - it means you’re human. 

Being kind is something I strive to be when I’m at my best. I try to practice intentional kindness daily. But it doesn’t mean that I haven’t been sassy to the phone receptionist when I’m making a doctor’s appointment (11 weeks until the next available spot?!) or a little rude to my sister when she’s constantly humming and singing (sorry, but I literally cannot hear my Netflix show!). Being kind can be especially difficult when we encounter situations or people that deeply bother us, where we may feel that our kindness is not deserved. That’s a whole other conversation that I plan to open up another day!

But for now, I leave you with this: next time you see “Be Kind Always,” remind yourself that “Be Kind Always When You Can Because You’re Only Human and No One Can Be Kind All The Time” is more realistic.